


Little did he know

by Yogowaga



Category: Stray Kids (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, College AU, Cuddles, Drama, Fluff, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Mafia AU, Reader is part of mafia, Reader x changbin, Violence, Woojin is sweet, Yoongi is an angel, changbin is cute, hand holding, maybe light kissing, stray kids x reader, the other ships will just be background stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-14 05:03:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16906617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yogowaga/pseuds/Yogowaga
Summary: Little did he knowY/N was a part of Bangtan, a fearsome Gang operating in the heart of Seoul. Their parents were murdered on a mission when Y/N was only 3 years old and since then they were trained to be a part of the gang and grew up to be one of the best soldiers at their age.But not a lot of people knew that. Changbin, for example. Only knew Y/N as the scary smart kid from math and foreign languages. But Changbin didn’t know much, he didn’t even know that the people he called family were exclusive members of Stray Kids, one of the controlling gangs in Seoul.A lot of the things Changbin knew-  thought he knew, was going to be proven wrong after he met Y/N.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first ever fanfic, it gets better towards the end

Yes, you knew you were different. People said it often so it's not like you would forget. Waking up every morning casually going to school pretending like you didn't torture a man to death the night before wasn’t normal, at least you hoped it wasn’t.  
It was a funny thought.

What did other student do on their free time? Not everyone was a part of a fearsome gang busying themselves with dirty work.

What would you do if you weren't a mobster? You'd probably be happy. Or just calmer. Not as paranoid. Because you couldn't honestly say you weren't happy, pulling peoples teeth out after your accomplices tied them to a chair was fun for you.

And you did do normal fun stuff to, if your friends were free you’d go to a cafe. Because you did have friends. Work friends. People you had known literally your entire life. The people you were trained with after your parent were brutally murdered. But their parents were dead too so it was alright.

That's usually how it would end in Bangtan, you’d get assassinated on a mission. The worst parts were that the people killing you was often your allies- or people you thought were your allies.

But the younger members weren't like that. You had a more stable relationship with them. A more normal friendship.

For example, you and Jin would bake together and he'd go out of his way to make sure you didn't demolish the kitchen in the process. Or how you and Yoongi would sneak away during training and explore the city. Like how you and Hobi would dance together instead of stretching, you and Chim would have study dates, Tae and you would watch movies and Kookie would bring you on adventures in the nature.

Just normal things. Despite your age gap with a few of your friends you were still close, with Jin being 23 and the oldest and you at 19 being the maknae. That didn't matter, you loved each other and would often take beatings to cover for one another. Things that were strictly forbidden in a gang.

 

It was funny to think about your ¨secret life¨ instead of studying. It was so much more interesting than algebra.

Math class was a important lesson though. Not because you needed to know how to divide X’s with Z’s but because you had enemies from your other occupation there.   
A few kids from a gang called Stray kids. Just like Bangtan it was mostly strays there so the name made sense and you didn’t necessarily dislike them, they'd let you borrow their notes even though they knew who you were.

That might sound strange that they know who you are but still wouldn't kill you.

Well bangtan was the biggest gang in Seoul, and even though Stray kids hit a close third place they didn't dare to risk it. Because you were important and skilled, besides the people in your class were younger and not everybody in the Stray kids household were members, you weren't exactly sure of who was in and who weren't but your team- Yoongi, had discovered three people in the house who were never mentioned and never seen.

Well of course they were seen, they went to school but there were only 6 people that were active and certified in the gang while you knew that there was 9 people under the Stray kids roof.

You knew that Chan, Seungmin, Hyunjin, Jeongin and Woojin were members because off your work encounters but they were about it.  
And yes Bangtan was powerful enough to access almost any information but Stray kids were good at burying theirs.

Minho, right he was a part to.

Thanks to your lack of knowledge you never decided to strike them, you didn't know how many they were or who were important.

You simply just stayed out of it during school hours and focused on your studies(mostly just attempting to keep your cover as a normal student).

But you did have three classes with Stray kids’ underboss Bang Chan, so you did try to unravel a bit of information if you were bored. Even though he was good at hiding things you still figured out his relationship with fellow member Woojin and that did prove useful and you even earned a egg-roll from Seokjin(His food was one of the best awards any member could get).   
So naturally, you were eavesdropping.

It was just Chan and suspected member Jisung but since Jisungie was only a suspect every word could be a clue.

“Y/N pay attention, you already got special breakfast anyways.”

Kookie. Right, he was here with you. Yes you had actually forgotten that he went with you today to make sure you were alright after a rough fight last night.

He didn’t have any classes with you but it wasn’t like the teacher noticed anyways so what harm would it do with extra math? The answer is a lot. He kept nudging your left arm in a attempt at actually getting you to pay attention.

“But it's Algebra”

“Jiminie doesn’t have time to study with you everyday you know..”

That was true. 

“GiGi will help me”

“Yoongi is also busy”

Well fuck education then. If no one was going to help you then how the hell were you going to learn? Paying attention to class? Listening to the teacher? No thanks. That would ruin your reputation.

Instead of fighting back against your hyung you decided you didn't want to earn a lecture and turned your attention to the big black board behind the teacher.

There were a lot of names engraved in the lower parts of the chalkboard. Students who had finished school. You would find names in the strangest places but it's not like you could blame them for wanting to leave a mark, you left marks everywhere but mostly in from of bruises or deaths.

“Y/N, Hello?” 

Shit, someone was talking to you.  
You were brought back from your thoughts and noticed that the entire class room was staring at you. Oh, the teacher was talking to you.

You turned your head up and let your support aka your hand fall on the desk you were sitting at and hummed just loud enough for Mr. Karasu to hear it.

“Seems like someone needs extra homework”

Absolutely not. You were not getting more homework again.

“Sir, i am deeply sorry but i've had a thought night.”

It wasn't exactly a lie, you did take. Few unnecessary punches and accidentally triggered your blood lust so that Hobi had to drag you away from your attacker before you killed her.

You could hear the bitchy gossip group snickering in front of you sending a few ¨i bet’s¨ around creating a quiet talk around the classroom all snickering and sharing theories about what you spent your night with.

You groaned loudly and dropped your head on the desk creating a quiet thud. Great, now they were spreading rumors about you. Weird rumors. 

“Alright, settle down class. Y/N please sleep at night. And we’ll skip the extra homework, instead you’ll do a surprise test next week”

A few of the other students booed at the teacher for letting you off too easily after continuously zoning out during math but you were pretty happy about it, at least you’d have time to prepare.

“Mister Jeon i believe you're not in this class.”

Yay, now you could completely lose yourself without anyone forcing you back to reality. Sweet.

Jungkook threw his bag over his shoulder after being caught by the teacher and shot you a warning glare before quickly jogging out of the classroom. Now it was your turn to snicker. 

You loved your kookie, you truly did but he could be a pain sometimes. He always wanted you to study and was almost more annoying than Chiminie when it came to school, but he meant well. He forced you to do well so you could have a life away from the gangster life. Even though he was just a few months older than you he was still one of the most caring members in your quadrant.

\-----------------------

Fucking school, fucking math.

After the lesson had ended your teacher forgot about the test but then when the day was over and your last class was done he had somehow found you and given you papers, a lot of papers and worksheets of things you were going to study and half of those things didn't even have anything to do with math and the questions were just to stupid.

Like if Deborah has 76 seafood dishes and makes two more what does she have? 

Well Deborah has a fucking obsession that could be a potential problem, like what the hell is she going to do with 78 fucking seafood dishes? Eat them? Well then she's going to get stomach problems and that won't end well like what the hell Deborah..

Being lost in your own thoughts scrunching your nose and pulling a long frown at the papers in your hands walking around the school you knew so well while successfully avoiding run ins with other students.   
You were a bit impressed that you paid no attention to your surroundings whatsoever but still managed to avoid-

Crash

Aw shit, now your papers were scattered all across the school floor and you were standing in front of a student your height who you had quite poetically just crashed into.

Without your eyes leaving the ground while picking up your papers you quietly bowed and apologized for the run in, then while walking away trying to escape the embarrassment you felt a hand grasp the skin around your elbow and you stopped dead in your hurried pace.

What the hell, could they just let you do you?

Nevertheless you turned around and faced the person you had ran into seconds earlier. But this time you were staring him dead in the eyes smoothly taking in his features in the process.

Dark soft hair cut in a bowl cut and dark narrow eyes with a sharp face and the most unfitting smile on earth, he looked edgy but his smile aggressively tore apart any dark assumptions you made. Cute.

He shifted uncomfortably under your gaze and then gestured towards the papers and the books that you were cradling ever so tightly.

“Uh, in class.. Pop up test, i can help you.. Study”

Uhm Yes please. Alright the boy was cute and you didn't exactly have anyone to help you since your boys were ¨busy¨ as Kookie had said so what harm could it do with a study partner? But you had to admit that you were a bit stunned, no one had ever approached you with a nice meaning. Maybe your reputation wasn't so bad after all.

“Yeah, sure thanks.”

You carefully pulled your phone out of your pocket desperately trying not to drop your things and handed the cracked thing to the boy in front of you.  
Thankfully he took the hint and wrote down his number and added himself to your contacts and gave you your phone back.

“Great, text me if you have any questions or want to meet up i guess”

He was blushing, he totally was.  
Then he quickly shuffled away before the pink fog covering his cheeks continued over his face after you gave him an acknowledging hum.

Cute.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now Y/N has realised that the boy was actually Changbin just so you know

“ Y/N you've died 4 times already, what's up with you today?”

Taehyung jogged up to you after shooting you in the back with an airsoft gun and crooked his arm around your neck letting it hang freely over your chest.

You were training with the rest of the maknae’s. It was you and Jiminie versus Tae and Kookie. So far you had ¨died¨ early every round. Even thought Jimin managed to win once they were still worried about you, ever since you came home from school on monday you had been off. You didn't have your mind in the game.

“I know, i'm just tired.”

You tried to reassure the other members but it rarely worked. They pretended to buy your lie but they honestly saw right through you.

Maybe it was the pop up test due in a few days that had you nervous or it was the fact that Seo Changbin had offered to help you study.

You honestly didn't know what to do about it. You weren’t even sure if he really was a member, his eyes were way too bright to have seen all that you have but then again he could just be a really good capo like yourself.

Yoongi, you needed to talk to Yoongi. He knew things you didn’t. But.. if you told him about it he’d probably build iron walls around you thinking that Stray kids were planning something, which they could be but there was a chance that they weren’t.

Changbin could be a potential asset thought. They could kidnap him and use him to get to the other gang. because just like the members under Seokjin’s command, Chan’s quarter were also close. 

But for now you just really needed to study.

You fished your phone out of your pocket as you ran for the door leading up to the mansion the gang lived in.

After fighting your way up all the stairs that were heavily guarding your room you skipped inside and plopped down at your desk. All the work material was already there since you had studied earlier this week and left your study fort up knowing that you’d have to return to it sooner or later but no matter how much you tried or how many times you read about Jerry and his melon problem it still just wouldn't stick. 

Supposedly you could just blame your dyscalculia and fail on the test but you didn't want to receive detention again. Because yes, your teacher gave you detention if you failed tests claiming that you needed to pay more attention in class.

But seriously, you were a Mobster you could just make people do math for you. You didn't need to know every unnecessary spectrum of your most hated subject.

You played a little with your metallic phone case wondering if you should contact your ¨Study partner¨ since both Chim and Yoon only had time to practise thanks to their new schedule. You didn’t really know what it was, something about infiltrating Pentagon or was it Seventeen?  
It didn’t really matter anyways. 

Being more hesistant than you've ever been you type in a text at the speed of light and continue to linger over the send button with your thumb for the next 5 minutes.

But then you finally press send because, hey you're not even sure if he’s going to answer.

[You]  
Hiya, think we could meet up and study?

Maybe you shouldn’t have written with a comma, and who the hell says hiya these days? Maybe you shouldn’t have used a capital H it proves that you thought about it. Maybe you just shouldn’t have texted at all.   
Why is it taking so long for him to answer? Ok fine it’s only been like 30 seconds but still, maybe he changed his mind about it?

Your throat hitches as your screen lights up with a notification.

[Study partner]  
Yeah, sure! I was wondering how it was going.  
It's pretty late but i have time right now?

[You]  
Now would probably be good.

[Study partner sent you a location]  
[Accept]

Starbucks. Alright, you liked starbucks.  
Just a casual place to study with acquaintances. That's right, you didn’t even know him. What if he would be a member and pulled the entire gang on you? Maybe you should bring backup, just in case. But who would really be up for it without harming Changbin. You did need him, at least until your test was finished. Maybe Chim would understand, but Hobi is better against jumpers although Joonie was the one you shared secrets with.

\-------------------

“Hey, GiGi?”

You were standing outside Yoongi’s room gently knocking hoping that he was actually in there.

Alright, you looked up to Yoongi a lot. Probably because he was the most closed of member and was more secretive. You didn’t know everything about him like you did with the other members but he was still kind to you.

Huh, leaning on doors isn’t a smart idea.

As the door slowly creaked open you fell with the movement and landed on the floor half inside Yoongi’s room with a thud and a loud groan.  
That's embarrassing and annoying, oh well. 

The dark haired boy tilted his head at you and offered you a hand which you gladly took and he pulled you off the floor.

“Are.. you busy right now?”

And like always Yoongi kept to slowly shaking his head instead of giving an actual answer but that was alright.

“Alright, i was wondering if you’d like to be my backup?”

“You're not going on a mission.”

“No but i could really use you and you might not have to stay the entire time, just until i determine that it's safe. Please?”

“Does Jin know?”

Crap, GiGi was going to reject you. But he probably wouldn’t tell Seokjin.. Right? Although you could just say that he did know but Yoongi was smart, he wouldn’t buy it. Besides you've stalled long enough for him to figure out your answer.

“Let me just grab my phone.”

What? He.. agreed?

The boy retreated back into his room leaving you there stunned, but why would he agree if Jinnie didn't know? It could have been something really bad and keeping things from a gang boss was lethal even thought Jin was only an underboss it could still be the death of them.

When Yoongi came back he had his phone shoved down his pocket and waited for you to lead the way which you immediately did.  
But he noticed how distracted you were so as you were going down the last staircase after collecting your jackets and study material he grabbed your arm and slowed down your pace.

“You still would’ve gone if i didn’t come with you and i’d rather have you do stupid things under my watch than on your own.”

He read your mind like always. And he was still considerate. Because he was right, it was probably a stupid thing but it was their idea to force you to school so they practically took half the blame anyways.

Again after picking up the pace you fished up your phone and typed in a text.

[You]  
Omw


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, you made it this far. im impressed

You opened the door to the cafe and scanned the place thoroughly before you took your first step inside and your eyes immediately fell on the black cap which belonged to the one and only Seo Changbin.

You and Yoongi had agreed to make it subtle and that he would enter a short while after you.. just in case.

But as you were approaching the boy you feelt everything but threatened, when his eyes focused on you and a small smile appeared on the dark haireds face you decided to fish for your phone and text Yoongi that he wasn't needed.

Unfortunately he had already entered the shop and was placing his order. But of course Yoongi was smart so when his phone went of he acted utterly confused and then jumped up in the air as if he was late to a meeting he had forgotten.

Smooth. You giggled silently to yourself as you took a seat in front of your study partner and started to pack up a few of your things on the table.

You were considering buying a coffee since you were actually there. And Changbin seemed to notice that.

“I'm going to order a sandwich, want anything?”

You nodded and got ready to get up when he interrupted you.

“You should probably stay with the things, what do you want?”

“Surprise me.”

With a smile the boy left to go order.  
He really had to stop smiling at you. It was too cute.

When he came back he had a ham sandwich and a… pink coffee. It looked like something Jin would whip up just to bug you. You had never heard of coloured coffee but it might've been a secret menu thing, nevertheless it looked ridiculous with it's bright cream and pink heath particles. Why would anyone ever make this..

But you went with it. looks could be deceiving, and it was the taste that mattered anyways.

As you were grabbing your wallet out of the pocket of your jacket Changbin interrupted you again.

“You can pay me back with surpassing the test.”

You feelt a sweat stream run down your neck as he finished his sentence.

He thought you would pass, more than pass actually. You didn't like when people expected things from you even thought it was nice to think high of you. It would make you nervous and you'd most certainly fail.

“ Hey, don't worry if you fail. you'll just have to buy me a coffee instead”

He gave you a contagious chuckle.

Maybe this study session wasn't such a bad idea after all.

\-------------------------

It was Monday. You were as nervous as Lucifer was trying to make his first demon.

Even though you and Changbin had meet up and studied two more times after your visit to Starbucks but to be honest you had mostly just watched him.  
Not in a suspicious or bad way. You had just watched him as his hands traced your workbook and on occasion where he looked up to see if you were following you had nodded even if you just listened to his voice and watched he way he moved.

His voice was lighter than you'd expect and his eyes would reflect a lot if he was close to a light source.

His eyes weren't actually black, they had traces and lines with a darker brown. Almost like a flower growing around his iris creating an occasional colour change that was only noticeable if you payed attention.

So no you hadn't really studied, or yes but not math. You had studied the ways of Changbin.

He was smart so if you could've heard his words instead of just his voice then maybe you'd be more confident but it was easy to get lost between his sentences.

The last time you met the two of you actually talked about other things, it was a bit more like a hangout.

He told you about a family trip he had and that Felix had found a flying cockroach and ran around the camp screaming which had started up Jisung so they ran around like two idiots screaming about something that was now dead, thanks to Chan.

But for some reason you had cut him of claiming that you really needed to focus on studying and that you could chat some other time when you didn't have a test. But the thing wasn't your studies, it feelt wrong when he talked about his family. It feelt like you were on a mission. It feelt like you were using Changbin and for some reason you didn’t like that feeling. It made you nauseous.

With a deep sigh you closed in on the math classroom where Mr.Karasu had prepared a personal test for you while the others had Foreign languages claiming that you were already and A student in that class.

He wasn't wrong but you'd rather have a subject you liked than a test.

Nevertheless you opened the door and creeped inside finding your teacher there waiting for you.

“You have half an hour so that I can correct it right away"

Rude, straight up rude. How the hell were you going to finish in less than an hour? He was just too lazy to correct it during the weekend. Like why did he give you tests if he was so fond of his free time that he corrected it on school time. Stupid.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing Taemin from Shinee!!!

After a long time waiting for your teacher to finish with the snail speed he had. He handed you the test and told you to check it on your way to lunch.

You listened and turned the papers one after one scanning for any fault symbol but… there was none.

You had all right. You passed.

With a joyous feeling quickly possessing your body you jumped about 4 meter straight up into the air and then proceeded with bolting down the hallway after receiving an answer to a text.

You feelt your phone buzz inside your pocket but you ignored it, just like you ignored all the teachers trying to slow you down to lecture you about the risks of running in the hallway but you avoided them as well as the students.

It was a tricky run since all the students were heading for lunch so you had to zigzag most of your way to escape run ins. But you did it, when you reached the cafeteria you did a quick survey of the place and then continued the short run to your target.

With the sound of air leaving a body you collided with Changbin and wrapped your arms around him with the test in one hand you tightly hugged your detention savior.

When he had gotten a glimpse of your test paper he hugged you back for a second before you pulled away noticing all the people staring, including the Stray kids gang.

And that's when you learnt. The looks on their faces when you had attack hugged their family member revealed their status.

All but Lee Felix looked grim or worried.

Despite all the people staring at you, you were still happy. You were thrilled actually.

But it didn't last for that long.

When you saw Chan slowly approaching you like a cougar waiting to pounce you feelt your stomach drop. You shouldn't have done that.

Why couldn't you just think before you acted? They were your enemies, and Stray kids protected each other. You wouldn't be able to use Changbin anymore after this.

Slender fingers latched onto your hand and pulled you down into a seat next to Changbin. There was food all over the table. It looked as if they had stolen a buffet and the people sitting there were just throwing food onto their plates ignoring all the strange looks they got. The scary part was that the table was occupied by Stray kids, all sitting there peacefully eating apart from Chan who was slowly joining the lot of you.

“Hey! I'm Felix, Binnie’s best mate!”

Whaaaat, the boy had a round cute face and freckles speckled all over. He looked like a little angel but his voice… he sounded like a demon with a deep cave voice that could scare of a lion if he roared. Seriously, what.

“isn’t Channie Bin’s best boy?”

“Isn't it me? But were bros!”

“Shut up Jisung! Only Minho likes you!”

“That's not true! I don't like him.”

“then why were you kissing earlier eh?”

Wow, Stray kids were a bunch of dorks. So carelessly throwing around words with important meanings. You could see why Changbin chose them as his family, apart from all the lies they were cute. Even Chan seemed enjoyable.

\----------------------

You actually stayed and ate with the family and they dragged you with them when they were done, the 10 of you ran around the halls of the school behaving wild as ever. It was fun. You actually got to know the gang a lot. Woojin and Seungmin were the quietest ones while Felix and Jisung were the loudest. Chan definitely had a soft spot for all of them but surprisingly enough you didn't feel the need to use that, you were happy just being there. They accepted you on a whole different level. Although you had noticed a few dangerous people watching, including SHINee’s youngest. They would often share information with Bangtan and were considered allies. 

And of course that wasn't good, it wasn't good at all. You'd have to pay them a visit before they shared the fact that you had fun with enemies with Jimin. Ironically Jimin was the reason you were allies, apparently he used to date their maknae capo and it ended well. How a relationship can end well was a mystery to you but they said it did, something about realising their love for each other was platonic and hearts belonging to someone else.

Well that romantic crap.

Despite your new after school problems you had fun together, they shared funny facts and memories with you.

It was mostly just Felix acting funny and Jisung freaking out with Seungie being evil.

But they did tell you a quite special story about the people they called 3RACHA. Changbin, Jisung and Chan’s childhood “gang". Apparently they had their little mob together when they were 6-9 although it was just a fun little thing. Changbin didn’t like the fact that mobs actually existed so he convinced the others to stop calling it their little mafia.

It was irony on high level, that both the others were in fact Underboss and a Capo in a real gang, and the fact that Minho snorted at the story. He didn't hide the fact that the irony amused him. How they've managed to keep Stray kids from Binnie and Lix was beyond you.

Anyways….

School had actually ended and you found yourself calling Taemin.

First of all he was too old to pass as a student. Jimin’s 20 that’d make Tmin 22.. alright fine he could pass as a senior but still, you knew that he graduated a year ago at another college to.

“Y/N, it's you isn’t it?”

Oh shit he picked up, you gave yourself a little facepalm. And of course he didn't save your number.. guess you'd have to thank him for that.

“Did you tell Chim?”

“Why did I even hope that they knew about you.”

“You think to well of me.”

“if what Jimin told me is true then I feel like I'm understating you.”

“Jimin adores me, of course he'd tell you I'm good.”

Sigh, Taemin had a thing for making innocent small talk. It'd normally be found polite but you liked to get straight to the point.

“You can't tell him, or any of them for that matter.”

“Okay, I won't.”

Shit, what can you give that he would value… yes he did say yes but those were only words and it was never that simple in your line of work. If you were Jimin you could probably have gotten away without payment but now you wanted him to go against his ex.

Ah ha!

“Exo’s scouting routine.”

“Y/N I already agreed.”

“T.O.P’s real name.”

“Deal"

Hehe, you did know Tminie. Maybe not as well as Jimin but you did know him.

Now you only had Yoongi to worry about, maybe Kai if you were unlucky.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BANG PD EVERYONE STAY CALM STAY FUCKING CALM

“Hey Y/N Midoriya or Todoroki?”

You had barely gotten through the front door before Tae started screaming for your opinion.

“Midoriya?”

You didn't really know what you were answering but it was Tae who asked so you better go with the first one.  
The boy skipped away from the hall into the kitchen with a box smile and started yelling at Jiminie.

“I told you! Izuku is cute!”

“Shouto is mysterious tough”

You guessed that they were talking about anime, but honestly how did they find time for it? You were actually late for a scouting operation with Joonie.

So of course you ran with elephant steps down the stairs into the “Mafia hideout" and grabbed a harness full of weapons and threw your bomber jacket back on before you darted back up and ran out the door.

You didn't even sip your jacket until you slid on your bike. no, not a bicycle… a motorcycle. Actually it was Kookies but hey you were family so of course you'd steal it every now and then.

After attaching the metallic black helmet you kicked away the rest and dashed of with a loud rumble.

The sound was loud but still so pleasing to your ears, and the warm air that was created by the engine close to your legs was soothing with a strong breeze going straight through your clothes and slithering around you like a frozen snake. But it was nice, with the wind hovering around you and the world passing by ever so quickly as you leaned over side to side when turning. It was a certain freedom that you just couldn't unravel at other times.

It was sad how quickly it was over. But when you reached your destination you softly slid of the blank black bike and made sure it was safe and sound from both scratches and thief’s before you jogged away to the dark alley where you had agreed to meet Namjoon.  
When you got there it was completely abandoned, if you were fictional it would’ve been a place of a crime or any other gruesome act because it was quiet. So quiet that you could hear a needle drop and it’d sound like an explosion. But there wasn’t any movement either, not even a leaf blown over by the wind. Not a single distraction could be found anywhere near the dark alley illuminated by a dim lantern on the wall. Namjoon wasn’t there. Joonie wasn't a person who was late so why wasn't he here? 

“Y/N-ah You precious child"

You swung around faster than lightning and hasingly pulled out a gun from your jacket completely randomly, lucky for you it was one of the newest models also nicknamed Shh-Gun(by Tae hence the terrible name). It was one of the quietest guns you had ever heard before

You were faced with a well groomed man in a personally tailored suit and a rather chubby face, not the young kind that is. If it wasn’t for his mocking sunglasses you would probably be able to be more precise but you had to guess 40+

His voice seemed somewhat familiar but you couldn't pin it. But he knew your name, it could only mean that he was an enemy.

“Yah, put the gun down Y/N-ah. You'll only get hurt"

Y/N-ah? Was it.. It couldn't be, could it? No you're not important enough.

“don't you recognize uncle Bang? I am offended.”

Bang. It was Bangtan’s head. The boss out of the bosses, the man who appointed Seokjin underboss after Joonie misstepped. It was the man that had killed multiple of your accomplices and co-workers. It was the man who married Mrs Kim. The mother of one of your brothers, but you didn't know to who.

Bang was a dangerous man, he was someone you should fear. And you did, just not as much as you should've.

Nevertheless you dropped your arms but still had a strong grip around your gun and did a 90 degree bow while apologising for your manners.

“Yah, it's alright. You're making me nervous”

He was charismatic but you could still see right through his kind persona.

“Where's Namjoon.”

As far as you knew he hadn't made any more mistakes so he shouldn't be dead although Boss had a lot of unusual motives. But he wouldn't, if he killed Jin’s boyfriend then the entire Saneyodan quadrant would go against him. And he was smarter than that.

“Don't worry about him, worry about yourself.”

What did he mean with that? Taemin didn't tell on you did he? Yoongs wouldn't and Bang would never go to Stray kids himself so what was the problem?

“I heard that you've been hanging out with the kids of JYP, dangerous business.”

Aww shit. 

A cold chill sprinted up your spine leaving tiny aching frostbites while big rough hands were ripping out your ribs, one after another and your mind circled with dread.

“shesh, you look like you just died. I just wanted to ask why.”

“I thought it.. could be useful, to have a friendly face around the enemies?”

“Playing both sides is dangerous Y/N. How did you get this opportunity?”

You hesitated, you opened your mouth but you cut your words as they were trying to escape. You were being to easy, you were to open. He might be your boss but you still needed yo show him that he couldn't press information out of you by just pinching you lightly. He would have to force it out of you by little more than a nudge.

“What is it to you?”

Harsh, but just harsh enough.

“Aish, i didn't raise you to stand up to me”

He didn't raise you at all, he raised Jin, Hobi and Yoongs and they raised you, not your boss. You were raised to hate him, not purposely but you did. You as well as the others knew how he had treated your Hyungs when they were children and you hated him for it. Whenever he'd get involved in your stuff as a child Hobi would always have to keep you occupied in another room for you not to attack him.

“hmm, well I want you to use your position, and your blossoming friends Changbin and Felix.. they're useful. To bad they won't see it coming.”

Over your dead body was he going to hurt those innocent angels. Okay yes you might’ve gotten a bit more attached than you were ready to admit but still. They were precious to anyone who got to know them.

Nevertheless you have your boss an evil grin to show that you were in on it because he couldn't know about your plans.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is so fluffy y'all

You were texting Joon to show your annoyance over the “meeting” the two of you were supposed to have. Turned out that Joonie didn't know about Bang's visit or the scouting you two were going to do.

It wasn't that surprising that he didn't know. Ever since Bang spared his life and rid him of the position as underboss Namjoon would be one of the last people to know things, if Jin didn't tell him that is.

Still you were overwhelmingly annoyed with the information you received. You were trying to walk away your emotions by taking a long stroll through the greener parts of Seoul. It was working pretty well actually.

The spontaneous breezes blowing past you as you were looming around in a relaxed pace watching leaves drop from their branches. You loved the park, this park specifically. It held a soft spot in your heart. As a child you’d sometimes run here when your life overwhelmed you, it was a place where you could be alone. It was beautiful but it lacked in people but you were thankful for that. Even if there was people there you’d just unravel your headphones and roam around listening to music while taking in the beautiful landscape. You’d think that you had gotten tired of it after 19 years of coming here but you never did. Everyday something was different, you could see a new building poke out from beneath the social life surrounding the park. It was the little things that made it important to you.

It was yo- 

Bzz Bzz bzz

Sigh. You pulled your phone out of your pocket already rebuilding your annoyance but when you got a glimpse of who dared to interrupt your mind meditation your emotions quickly changed. Seo Changbin was calling you.

You actually peeked a minimal sunshine smile. You liked Changbin, he brought out the tiny parts of innocence in you that still lingered between the cracks of your sins.

So you picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hi"

“Hey”

“You've said that twice now.”

“I did?”

You chuckled softly. Innocence. Wholesome. Pure. The three words that fit him like a hand in a glove.

“Are you busy right now?”

“No, I don't think so.”

You could practically hear him smile.

The two of you continued to talk for quite a while until he actually got to the point. He wanted to meet up with you, he wanted to hang out just the two of you at a new cafe entwined with a tiny flower shop.

You had never been there but you had heard about it. It was supposed to be one if the cosiest places around, all good feedback. Buuut you definitely did not search every piece of the internet to see if you'd find any dirt on it but it seemed all fine- you guessed, since you didn't actually do it.

\---------------

The cafe wasn't that far away from your current location so you simply power walked from where you were.

It still took you awhile thought but that might've been for the best though because when you arrived you found Changbin and who sounded like Minho arguing a few meters away from the cafe, you didn't really plan in it but you slowed down and listened in on what they were saying.

You didn't quite catch all the details but the outlining was something with Minho secretly following the other boy which he didn't like, it actually sounded pretty heated.

With a sigh you tore yourself away from your hiding spot and brushed a few locks out of your face before you strided into the cafe. It wasn't gang business so you didn't need to hear it, it was invading privacy and decent people wouldn't do that.

You tried to remind yourself that but it was a habit since you were literally trained to constantly pick up information even though you weren't listening. 

But still you didn't need to be anxious now, at least not as anxious as you were when scouting.

After a short while you spotted Changbin entering the cafe and as you raised your hand lightly to let him know you were there it was as if you turned on a lamp. Immediately you could see traces if a smile forming on his generally annoyed face and the smile just grew and grew as he came closer. And soon enough his teeth were in display and it hit you like a ray directly sent from the sun just to burn you out but in a nice kind of way.

“Geez, I'm going to go blind tone it down will you?”

He giggled at your remark and the sound was so soft, it feelt like clouds swooping through your ears. How in the living hell did he do that?

“Hi, how are you?”

“Great now that you're here”

Nope, not the right thing to say but theoretically it was true. He gave you a short glare as he was sitting down opposite from you on a bright white wooden chair with a light pink pillow pad matching the corner couch you were stationed at.

“So trouble in paradise?” 

Changbin sighed and placed both of his hands on the table in between the two of you as he hunched over ever so slightly.

“Yeah. i dunno but my family.. They have gotten so paranoid and i don't know why.”

“So you needed a distraction, and you called me.”

“Yeah.. you're distracting.”

You giggled and crossed one of your legs over the other as you leaned in on the table with an arched eyebrow and a playful smirk dancing on your lips.

“Why thank you.”

Changbin now leaned back and gave you a confused glance before his expression lifted and his smile came back but this time it was more of a grin, possibly because you had noticed and he didn’t. But it also meant that he didn't mean it like that.

Although you couldn’t care less. It was better this way.

“I heard that this place is famous for its cheesecake, want to try them?”

You gasped dramatically and placed a hand over your heart trying to look as offended you possibly could which seemed to be pretty convincing judging by Binnies expression.

“You took moi to a place you’ve never been to and you also want to test the dessert incase it's bad. Gosh how shall i handle this rude behaviour”

His smile just kept widening until he was quietly laughing at you trying not to harvest too much attention in the process. And when you placed your other hand on your forehead and mimicked a fainting damsel he kicked your feet lightly and you sent him laughing with further ridiculous behaviour.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let the angst begin

“Next time i think i’ll take the grape one and you can go for the pineapple.”

Changbin nodded lightly while slowly rubbing his stomach with a half finished coffee on the table. The two of you had ended up buying a pumpkin and a blackberry cheesecake. Yes this place was certainly famous for it's cheesecakes. It had over 15 different kinds of fruit in it and some were so unusual you actually had to google them.

But the dessert wasn’t really the best thing about your time there, Changbin was.

As you got through your kiwi smoothie he had started stealing tiny spoons of your dessert and you had ended up doing the same thing to him but in the end the both of you found yourselves at the couch so it would be easier to share both the cheesecakes and your choice of drinks.

Although you were definitely full now so the two of you just sat there leaning your shoulders together to be able to keep balance and at one point you had crooked your arms together to so your balance would become more steady. And along with it just being genuinely cosy it had been funny too.

You had made jokes about the aesthetic and Changbin had followed with a few awful puns he had learnt from Chan. the two of you had really just been laughing the entire time and speaking of time, that thing had passed with the speed of lighting.

When you actually got the energy to fish for your phone you realized that you had been there for four hours. Four of the best hours in your life.

“Binnie, you might wanna go home”

You heard him hum next to you but apart from that he didn’t move.

“Bin, it's 8pm.”

He hummed again without any movement.

You straightened yourself and Changbin just plopped down in your lap as if he’d been shot with a sleeping dart. And sleeping was the exact word to describe it.

Changbin had fallen asleep and didn’t notice that he was slumped over in your lap soundlessly snoring while crawling around into a more comfortable position.

It might not have been the right call but you actually leaned back again and fixed yourself so that Changbin would have more space to sleep in. you watched him as his eyelids would flutter every now and then and as soundless snores escaped him. He was surprisingly still, he only moved a little at first but with time he was mostly still apart from the point where Binnie’s phone started buzzing.

You wanted to just turn of his phone. Because he fell asleep and people like him didn’t knock themselves out if they were fine. You just got the feeling that he needed this rest but then again that wasn’t your call to make. You’d just have to let him wake up, you just hoped this call was important enough.

So you started to gently push him back up so he would sit on his own.  
At first the only reaction you got from him was him breathing lighter and his body was stiffening but then he decided to face it and took a deep sigh before he opened his eyes and reached for his phone.

He was now sitting on his own, kind off. He was still leaning a bit on you but you didn’t mind. It was something you'd be happy to get used to.

But the nice moment didn’t last. You notice how Changbin’s eyes widen and a watery gloss fils them until it starts to well over. You sit up properly and turn towards your friend, you weren’t sure what to do. You couldn’t hear the other person in the phone so you didn’t know the reason either. So instead you went with your go-to action and reached out for his other hand and gave it a light squeeze which he seemed to appreciate judging by the fact that he grabbed your hand and just held it.

He hummed into the phone and put it down on the table. He stopped moving. Changbin was just sitting there with tears streaming down his cheeks. He didn’t move his eyes, he almost stopped breathing and over all he just looked ruined.

His skin had lost colour and he was dangerously pale. He was sitting completely straight but somehow he seemed smaller. It hurt you. You didn’t know why but it feelt worse than any torture you've been through, it hurt more than having your hyungs disappointed in you, it was an unbearable pain that flooded your heart when you looked at him.

So you reached out for him and pulled him into a hug. You rested your arms around his neck and slowly drew circles in his shirt with your thumb. You could now feel it. The wet spot that escalated in the crook of your neck, Changbin’s chest rising and sinking against yours and the quiet sobbs that echoed through your mind.  
No one noticed it but it feelt so loud that even a lion in Africa would cower at the heart breaking sound.

You hugged him tighter for just a second and then you carefully pulled away to face his swollen face.

“Binnie what happened?”

He tried to answer, he actually tried but there was no words only a sob and a cracked huff.

“It.. it's…”

His voice broke again but he didn’t stop trying.

“Hyunjin-ah”

He didn’t need to say more than his doesang’s name for you to understand that he had gotten hurt so you pulled Changbin back into a hug and let him cry.

A few other people had now noticed despite Binnie’s attempt in hiding it. They were moving places and tried to keep a distance as if they wanted to give him space, you appreciated it.

But what were you going to do now? You didn’t want to leave him alone but you wanted to know more, you wanted to know what happened and who did it. Since he was a gang member you were almost a 100% sure that it had something to do with that. Supposively you could bring Changbin to the Bangtan mansion but it was risky, you couldn’t be sure that he’d be safe there and being captured was the last thing he needed right now. 

Although you couldn’t go to his home either.

But for now the best thing was probably just to let him cry, to let him express his sadness. You were glad to help him in anyway even though seeing him like this broke the little piece that was left of your heart.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More fluff

After the risky decision to bring Changbin with you home to the mansion you found yourself hand in hand with the boy, going back to the alleyway for your motorcycle.

It was dangerous to bring him there since it was an shady setting and you couldn't afford him to start asking questions but you were pretty sure he was to worried about his friend to notice anything.

And adding to the list of bad decisions by you, you had also promised to take Binnie to the hospital the exact moment he got the call from Chan to tell him that he could come. Which might not sound that bad, but it was. If Bangtan would need you you wouldn't come because of your promise.

Which also divided your loyalty as well as prioritizing someone else.  
And in a normal mob you'd get killed by that. Luckily you were a family. But you couldn't do this often or they'll get suspicious.

As you approached your bike you found yourself gripping Changbin’s hand a little tighter.

After checking the thing for any sign of damage you handed the helmet to Changbin who put it on with trembling hands.

It was hard to look at him in this state, with puffy eyes and slightly wet cheeks and the watery gloss threatening to expand over his eyes. It was horrible to see but he needed someone and you couldn't leave him alone.

Sure you could've brought him to stray kids but half of them were probably in the hospital waiting and the others were probably bringing an unbearable pain to whoever hurt their family member.

Waiting in the hospital didn't sound to horrible but it was, from your own experience you knew that waiting in the hospital was one of the most mentally challenging things in the world.

When you slid in the bike you gestured to your…. Friend to get on behind you. It didn't take long but when his arms innocently went around your waist you feelt yourself stiffen. You breathed a bit slower and as his hands intertwined around your stomach, butterflies were released and were circling your entire being as if they were hunting for a prey.

But you managed to push the feelings aside and start up the booming rumble in the engine that was just slightly louder than your own heartbeat.

But you still managed and when you were speeding through the traffic you feelt the emotions brush of you with the wind. And it feelt like you never had them from the start. Although somewhere inside you you found a light need to just glance over your shoulder, just to make sure he was alive.

You didn’t really like this new unpredictable feeling that had started to bloom inside your rib cage at the moments you spent together with Changbin. It was way too dangerous to continue but you knew yourself and therefore you knew that you’d just keep procrastinating until the day the universe would force you apart.

And that would hopefully take some centuries.  
Why were you even thinking like this?

You had to give yourself an imaginary slap to help your mind come into focus again when you noticed that you were closing in on the beautiful mansion that you called home. 

You hadn’t really thought about it before but as you were turning in to the building Changbin closed his arms around you just a little tighter so you really had a need of an distraction before you melted. 

The bike was of and you were just standing there looking at the vines creeping around the white walls like a koala would cling onto its parent. A bit like Changbin was doing to you right now.. But that was irrelevant.

When you genuinely couldn’t find another detail to distract yourself with you carefully poked the boy behind you and gestured to him that he was free to jump off now and he quickly did but as fast as you were of to he moved closer, using you as a source of comfort.

It was nice but you didn't dare to relax at the moment since you were so close to your gang. You could practically feel the vibrations erupting from the people inside the building far before you even opened the door.

And when you did you walked straight into Namjoon who didn’t look very happy. You tried to push past him with Changbin behind your back but you were very unsuccessful as the older male opened his mouth and you could sense the lecture incoming.

“Where have you been? You turned of your phone!”

You laughed nervously, you weren't actually aware that you did but it was better to take the blame than to admit that someone had distracted you.

“I was busy”

“With wha-”

That's the moment Joonie noticed that you had brought company and also the moment you decided to bolt up the stairs to escape any dangerous questions.

Luckily for you, Changbin just followed your lead and the two of you made it to your room before anyone else could intrude. And you locked the door.

After you made sure that no one would pick the lock you went over to Binnie who was standing awkwardly in your room. His eyes were still puffy and bloodshot but he wasn't crying anymore.

You led him over to your bed and sat him down on the s/c sheets and just looked at him. What were you going to do now? You hadn't planned further than this because you were sure that you wouldn't make it since it was a rather ambitious choice but you did and now you had no clue what to do next.

“Is there anything I can do?”

The question wasn't exactly ideal. You should've known how to handle this, or at least a little bit better that you actually do. But you didn't so the question would have to do.

“I just.. want a hug.”

Hugs, you knew how to hug people. It was a completely normal thing people did. It meant nothing, it was just a gesture you'd do you show appreciation or give reassurance. It was nothing weird or scary about a hug.

But why did your stomach just grow wings? And why did it decide to flutter around like an annoyed little bee. Why did your face heat up like your skin was an personal oven?

And if you've learn anything about empathy you know that these feelings were forbidden in a situation like this and with you and Changbin, it'd never be okay. You'd have to live with that so the least you could do was comfort him.

You tried to get over your thoughts and then pulled the boy back into your arms, where you stayed for a while. He buried his face close to your throat and just accepted what had happened. While you just held him. You'd inhale his scent every now and then as he was just growing closer to you and he smelled good, it was a very different thing from what you were used too. He smelled a bit like the aftermath of a rainstorm and then the scent of shampoo all blended out with your smell too.

You didn't know why but it mixed well. You liked it, it had a calming effect on the two of you and all the stiffness you had before had just washed off as you were locked in a hug. You feelt good, like you belonged right there by Changbin’s side.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yay.... even more.. fluff

When your eyelids finally fluttered open again you were met with a warm set of sunshine happily swarming around the room illuminating the extracurriculars along with giving the objects a warm shine of orange mixed with yellow.

And when you looked out the window the sun was on display highlighting the edges of seoul while slowly rising to reach its peak. And the sky around it took colour of a dawn in the exotic lands of Thailand and filled the sky with a purple foundation soaking in a cerise coat blended slightly together to give of a softer impression.

You feelt well rested for once in your life. You were still wearing the clothes of yesterday and you had slept on the covers but something else had still kept you warm throughout the whole night.

Changbin.

The boy was nusseling his face soundlessly into your shoulder while the rest of him was crunched together at your side slightly touching the hand you had around him.

The day before when you had brought Binnie to your home you had laid there on your bed just silently comforting him for over an hour until he feelt ready to do something and then you planned to bring up ice cream but instead you had turned on some music and forted up with pillows and talked about it.

The boy had a lot of feelings and worries that he wouldn’t normally let out on a daily basis but you truly feelt honored to be the first one to hear about it. He also explained that he usually found comfort in Felix when he was feeling like that but never dared to tell the latter in fear of ruining his innocent image of the world. And you told him a bit about you.

You told him that you understood his worries and that your older brother had a dangerous profession and you’d often be worried about him and panicked every time you’d have to meet his pale face alone in the hospital and how that fear developed from the fact that your parents had died like that as well. This wasn’t all true but it worked as a metaphor. Bangtan was like your brothers and you feelt the same way every time they’d get hurt so it wasn’t really a lie either.

“Y/n?”

You looked slightly to your right where the boy was sheepishly sneaking his hand into yours. He was awake now. 

“Hyunjin is home from the hospital”

You noticed the phone lying freely on your bed next to him. He probably checked as fast as he woke up, but you couldn’t blame him. You’d do the same.

“Shall we go then?”

He nodded.  
\----------------

The white building before you sent ice cold chills up your spine along with clouds of bad memories to swarm your mind. You did not have good experiences with hospitals, they were the only thing you could honestly say terrified you. Even though Changbin held your hand as he dragged you through the building you still just wanted to run out of there as fast as you could and perhaps just go and vomit. You wanted to turn around and leave but you couldn’t, you promised Binnie you’d come with him and.. You couldn’t break that.

You sighed deeply as the boy was running up to the receptionist while aggressively squeezing your hand. You had finally realised it.

Changbin made you weak.

Ever since you met him all you wanted to do was to just call him, hear his excited voice and the smooth flow as he told you about some ironic experience he’s had throughout the day. You wanted to plan a meetup and eat together with him. You wanted to laugh at him when his mouth was completely surrounded by food. You wanted to sit next to him when you had finished and you wanted to hug him tightly as you were slowly converting to the dream world. 

You didn’t want to admit it but he was all that ever surrounded your mind and you didn't mind, you enjoyed having the boy’s smile fill your head every time you close your eyes. You liked him. With big difficulty you decided to accept the fact and maybe take that feeling as an opportunity to live a little.

Although you had more important things to think about right now because as fast as the lady by the desk had told your attention stealer where his best friend was he had quite literally bolted down the hallway and completely ignored the lady yelling at him not to run, and of course you were right there by his side with your hand firmly attached to his.

When he slammed the door open he first let go of you, which was a relief but you already missed his warmth. He had held your hand ever since you left Bangtan mansion, he even tried to hold it on the bike but he had to settle with hugging you tightly.

With the other Stray kids residents backing away slightly from Hyunjin, Changbin shot like a dart up to his side and hugged him hard enough for the boy to groan out of pain but Binnie barely seemed to care. 

You feelt your eyes gloss a bit and your stomach took a run around your body while your heart tried bungee jumping, something feelt wrong. You feelt like a mix of disappointed and anxious. You.. you were jealous.

Fuck. This was not a good moment to be.. Jealous. First of, Hyunjin was hurt and Changbin was being a good friend and he was worried. That was a natural thing, and you were being an asshole. Why were you jealous? And another shitty thing at the moment was that all the other people (minus the sweet creature you call Felix) in that room were looking shocked, you couldn't blame them but you really regret going here. You knew it was a bad idea but.. Well you’d but have to deal with it.

“Uhm, Binnie, i’ll go now. Hope it works out though.”

The boy literally shot up from his friend and stared wide eyed at you. Shit, now he was just as uncomfortable as you were. So naturally you slowly turned around and reached for the door handle but just seconds before you pulled it down a voice appeared close to you.

“Thank you for taking care of him, we were really worried about how Changbin would react. So thank you.”

You turned around to face the owner of the melodic voice and was faced with the blonde boy they called Woojin. You were a bit stunned, a member of Stray kids, your enemies thanked you. He even looked sincere as he turned uncomfortably under your gaze.

“Yeah, of course.”

You smiled back at the group, it was genuine. Maybe you could be friends with Changbin even though he was enemy blood. So you turned around and walked out of the room with a big smile glued onto your lips.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> brace yourselves for the next chapter..... :)

“Y/N, what were you thinking? Don't think that I didn't recognize him the first time but then you stayed in contact with him?”

“I'm sorry Hyung, it's not the most thought out plan but…”

You were sitting on the grey sheets in Yoongi's room while he'd moved his desk chair to the bed. When you came home from the hospital Yoongi had been waiting for you and he was not in a good mood. He'd dragged you up the stairs and locked the door after you had entered. And then he confronted you about it and you had never felt as weak as you did in that moment.

Tears were threatening to gloss your eyes and it stings, it stings so bad but no matter how tough Yoongi would be on you, you couldn't let him know that you cared. It was too dangerous.

Your stomach was twisting and turning while your heart slowed down so much you barely thought it was beating anymore. What if you'd have to say goodbye to Changbin? What if he'd get hurt because of you? What if being around him put him in more danger? Could you really cope with being away from him? Could you cope with being the reason be got hurt?

There were so many what-if's circling your brain like a bird scanning for its prey. You barely wanted to think about most of them but what if they'd become a reality. What if you'd have to deal with that outside your mind?

But now you couldn't really hold it in any longer. Yoongi had continued talking even though you had stopped listening, you had only picked up a few words but they were enough to jumpstart your tears stream. Because now there were silver tears making their way down your cheeks until they decided to drop from your chin and fall onto your hands. And one drop after another you soon had to bring your arm up to your face to brush away a few of the tears looming down your face.

But you were stopped. A strong hand with popping veins gripped your hand and squeezed it lightly as the other hand chased away the streams running down your puffy face. Yoongi’s hand was slightly wet now but when he kept his hand on your cheek and turned your head up to face his smile the tears stopped and Yoongi pulled you into a hug.

“Listen Y/N, I know how you feel and I understand you. I'm just worried about you. I love you, I hope you know that.”

You nod slightly into the crook of his neck and grip his shirt tighter as you could feel your eyes watering again.

You knew that Min Yoongi loved you, you love him too.

But you loved Changbin too. You knew you could never choose between the two of them but you feared that you’d have too. You’d probably not talk to Changbin for quite a while thought, mostly since he was to busy with Hyunjin now. It still made you slightly jealous but you had 7 other guys taking care of you so why would you be?

\---------------------------

You were now half sitting-half lying down on the couch in the living room. Using Jimin as a pillow and Kookie as a body pillow, you weren’t really sure why but you had demanded cuddles and they’d just finished their discussion and let you come and lie down with them. And soon enough Tae had shown up who told Joon to go buy a family pizza while Hobi went down to the closest store to buy a movie and Jin was setting up the living room table until Yoongi and Namjoon came back. Yoongs had followed Joonie saying that he’d need help carrying but you were sure that he just wanted an excuse to escape the cuddling mess on the couch.

But it didn’t take them long so you didn’t complain. When they were back you had to sit up for a while so all the other people could all get in a comfortable state. You were lucky that the couch was so big, otherwise you wouldn’t have fitted well. But now Tae was cradling Chim in his lap who was slightly holding Yoongi’s hand, And Namjoon was sitting with his arm around Jin who was pressing into his boyfriend and then it was you who was sitting in Hoseok’s lap where he had a deathlike grip on you, your escaping chances were low but they became even lower when Kookie wanted more attention and decided to lay down, his body took up Yoongi’s lap, Jimin’s and yours but none of you cared much, just Jimin when Jeongguk decided to wave his feet around.  
Nevertheless you were all down on the couch in slightly questionable positions all with a slice of pizza (appart from Hobi who couldn’t reach when he was trapped under the bunch). 

The movie Hoseok had bought was Vaiana, a disney movie. Which you had to say you enjoyed, it gave off that innocence when the entire group was falsely singing along to the songs and all laughing at the small childish things from the movie.

Thought as fast as the movie stopped everyone was either asleep or trying hard to keep their eyes open. Jin, being the only responsible person. Dragged Joonie with him to help clean up the pizza and all the plates, you noticed that Kookie wasn’t sleeping but he was faking it so he wouldn’t have to help. You found it funny so you did the same. But then you actually fell asleep.

\----------------------------------

A low buzzing in your pocket woke you up a few hours later. As your phone vibrated you groaned quietly and stretched your legs and arms slightly, you were very careful thought since all the others were still asleep.

You slithered out of Hoseok’s lazy hold on you and tangled yourself away from underneath Kookie. His weight made it slightly tricky but you managed to get away without the boy waking up. As you sneakingly tapped out of the room and into the luxurious kitchen you fished up your phone and tapped it on to see you had a call incoming from no other than Seo Changbin.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lets suffer together :)

When you picked up you were about to greet the boy, but you were cut of by a loud noise sounding alarmingly much like a fist thudding on human flesh and it was followed by a gritted curse and footsteps tapping quickly on something that sounded like concrete and something shattering. Then it went quiet for a short while until you heard a gunshot and an emotional cry of pain.

Another gunshot echoed through your phone and when the loading sound came afterwards you were running. With your phone in your ear you ran, you ran as fast as you could. The city around you blurred out as you tried to increase your speed as much as you could, with your heart stuck in your throat you had to make an effort not to trip over your own worries. 

As you ran down the city streets the sounds from your phone were sending dread down your spine and a lethal cloak of panic over your shoulders trying to drag you down but you ran completely on adrenaline and didn’t have time to just stop and breathe for a second. If you were just a moment to slow it could all end up in flames.

And you were not going to risk Changbin.

\----------------------------

As your fears finally caught up with you you were already approaching the Stray kids mansion. With your legs aching along with your entire being you ran up the stairs and kicked in the door. It hurt, if your legs could experience more pain you would be screaming in agony by now. But you didn’t have the time.

When the great white door crashed against the marble floor the entire ground shook for a second. You jumped over the door and then slowed down to be able to determine which room you’d blow up in.

As you stood still underneath the threatening chandelier you couldn’t hear a thing, the only noise in the building was your pulse pumping loudly in your ears with your heavy breathes as a background noise. Your entire head pumped and spinned, which door, which door.

You turned and shifted around the inaudible area, why couldn’t you hear anything? Why! Why! Why!? You couldn’t be late, not yet…

But then a sudden cough broke through the mist swarming your head and made it straight to your eardrums. Echoing in your head as a haunting feeling overcame you. You followed the sound into the living room.

Where blood was splattered all over the furniture and gunpowder as well as the red substance was smeared together over the walls ruining the home like decorations. It smelled sour and your head for the first time filled with the pictures of the gore and the bitter smell was printed into your mind.

There were bodies scattered over the room and you ran over to inspect them all with only one wish stuck in your mind.

“Please don’t be Changbin.”

As you turned the corpses and stepped over the liveless forms you heard it again. The cough, it was deeper than Changbin’s voice but it wasn’t powerful enough to be Felix either. All you could do until you found the source was to wish your friend’s survival.

As you walked in front of the grey blood smeared sofa you could have sworn that you saw something move in the very far corner of the room behind a decorative dresser. You slowly approached with your heart in your throat and your breath hitched. The slow stepps echoed in the room.

With dread lingering around your body, you noticed the from crawling further and further away from you. They tried to be sneaky but the blood left a clear path to its owner. When you thought you might’ve recognized them for a second you called out the second name appearing in your head.

“Seungmin?”

You heard a lonely exhale before a voice appeared, slightly startling you.

“Y/N? Is it you?”

You sighed, a bit relieved that one of them were still here but slightly concerned about all the blood he was losing.

“What happened here? Where’s Changbin?”

“I have to.. Find Mi … nho, he’s here. Find him!”

As you turned your senses back on again the slightly red haired boy crawled out and frantically looked around. You did the same, every person in this room was a clue, a clue that’d trace you to your friend.

\--------------------

It was only when you had left the room and decided to scan the kitchen when you found the unconscious body of Lee Minho, the boy only had a blue eye and seemed to have made it out in better state then his doesang. 

It was strange, these people always seemed so strong and capable in school despite being far more inexperienced and seeing them all defeated like this made you feel weird.

You hunched the lifeless arm of Minho over you shoulder and tried your best to carry him into the same room as Seungmin. You placed the older boy on the sofa where you earlier had stationed the other. Neither of them looked very good at the moment and you’d definitely have to put in a little effort if you wanted to stop the younger’s bleeding.

You had to admit that you were relieved that you found them, it made you feel determined. Since they were still alive the attackers probably wanted to take them alive but they most likely thought that the two they left were dead.

That meant that Changbin could be alive.

Wait. A memory sparked alive in your head and the time the boss had talked to you started playing in your mind. Your brain repeated every word and did it's best to colour in the voice. That's when you remembered. “To bad they won’t know what hit them”.

You could feel how your nerves tangled together and how your body heated up. Your heart beat increased as you clenched your jaw and fists in an attempt to keep your cool. But your mind swirled into action and put up a hundred different scenes in your mind, all resulting with the death of your boss. If he’d even just laid a hand on the beautiful boy’s face you’d make sure to personally cut it off.

Breathless with an anger boiling up in your head you moved to Seungmin and cut open his shirt around the waist. You used the leftover fabric to put pressure to the wound to see if it’d slow down but it had soaked through in mere seconds. And the boy found it painful, you knew firsthand how much a bullet wound would hurt but it wasn’t your biggest problem at them moment so you sprinted into the kitchen and got a towel along with a glass of water with some soap so he could help himself a little while you’d search the bathroom for antibiotic cream.

When you came running back, the boy had started sweating furiously as he tried his best to clean the wound. Luckily for you the bullet had gone straight through him so you didn’t have to worry about removing it.

You took the towel out of his hand and put a smaller white one in his mouth before you smeared soap all over the flesh. With red hands you drowned it in water and tried to wash away the bacteria before you slightly patted it and applied the cream.

You had completely ignored the red haired boys screams but now the agony overtaking his being became slightly nauseating. With the sound echoing in your brain you hadn't noticed that the other man had woken up and was now patting the other on the forehead with an ice pack you hadn't noticed he got. You didn't notice anything but the fact that Changbin was missing.

And there was nothing you wouldn’t do to get him back.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now we shall begin the suffering for real :D

“So got any ideas?”

The three of you sat quietly on the steps outside of the mansion all staring at the ground trying to think through the fog of panic. Both Minho and Seungmin were relatively fine now but you couldn’t help but worry, they were your only allies in this and your only chance to get Changbin back.

Now, you were sure that Bangtan’s boss was the cause of it all and you never had a great relationship but your status in the gang might asure you a safer passage to at least get it. But first you’d need to find out where they were being held and the guard schedule.

You knew what you needed to do but you also knew that your chances of success was to low for it to be safe. Although it might just be your only option. You'd have to get more allies. And you knew exactly which people you needed.

“Got7, they're close to Stray kids right?”

“Kinda, yeah.”

“And Day6?”

Seungmin turned excitedly towards you upon the mention of the name. But Minho shaked his head slowly. You could try Twice but Got7 was the clearest choice, if you'd succeed with your first plan that is.

You weren't sure how but you needed to talk to Bangtan, and you needed the remaining members of Stray kids to help you.

You felt a cold touch upon your arm but instead of flinching into a fighting stance your body felt to heavy for any drastic self protection so you just turned your head. It was Minho, he was judging your arm carefully with a silver phone. When you looked over he pushed it to you more until you grabbed it.

You have him a questioning glance before you turned on the phone screen to find a wallpaper of you with a spoon in your mouth distracted by something.

“It's Changbin's”

Your head suddenly became heavy and you couldn't keep it up anymore. Your eyes began to sting and a escalating pain started rising in the back of your throat. Fuck, how were you supposed to save him? How was the insecure knight supposed to save their Prince? You really loved Changbin, you did. And you couldn't bare the thought of leaving him in the hands of your boss, not even a second to long.

You wouldn’t leave him like that.

\----------

You hadn’t yet told your new companions about your plan but somehow you had made them follow you. Suspicious would have been a major understatement but the two boys would turn their head at every sound and always kept a wary eye on you. It would've been insulting but you didn't have the time to care at the moment so you just kept reassuring them until you reached the gates of the intimidating building you called home.

“No way, you're going to kill us!”

“Minho if i wanted to kill you i would’ve done it by now, just trust me”

He wouldn’t of course he would never trust you. You had never done anything to support them, and he wasn’t exactly stupid.

“I don’t.”

You swung around and slightly leaned into the boys face and received a surprised flinch, you scanned his features before you turned your head down and looked away.

“Then trust in my friendship with Changbin”

This time he also looked down before Seungmin decided to move closer to the mansion probably hoping that the two of you would stop bickering.

You did. You asked them to stay behind you as you sneaked the door of the mansion open, when the three of you entered you feelt the need to keep quiet even though it most definitely wasn’t the goal. You just got the feeling in your gut that it wouldn’t end well.

“Jin? Kookie? S’ anyone home?”

“in the kitchen Y/N!/

With a deep breath you followed the voice of Seokjin into the kitchen where you found him and Taehyung gossiping and messing around with their sandwiches. Tae scrunched his nose and looked over at you, he couldn't see the other two since they were still behind the wall.

“You smell like death and antibiotics.”

“Yes you do. Where did you go this morning? We've been calling you.”

You took a deep breath with your nose and exhaled through your mouth in an attempt to calm your rising nerves, you could do this. You had faced their demons before, this wouldn't be any worse. Still you had to remind yourself of that quite a few times before you cleared your throat and stepped into the room. Finally revealing the other two.

Jin sprung into a battle stance as the other pulled a gun out of his hoodie. Anger radiated of the two of them and you could feel their temper vibrating the entire building. Nevertheless you raised your hands and stepped forward to gain their attention.

“Hear us out.”

\--------------

Five minutes into the talk Hobi had walked in, it took you some convincing but he settled down. Neither of them were very keen on what you were explaining to them but when the rest of them arrived Jimin and Jungkook had vouched for you and explained about their friendships with Taemin and Yugyeom, Tae had been the most anti at first but Jiminie managed to soothe him as well. You were actually quite surprised that you managed to have the conversation without having your pressuring nerves get the better of you, but luckily your determination exceeded your fears.

Minho had helped you fill in descriptions and also explained what had happened. As his words spilled out of the mouth you felt smaller. He explained how they had come from nowhere and how they’d just gotten home with Hyunjin when they got ambushed, they had tried to protect themselves but how their opponents had tried to seperate them and ended up getting Felix as a hostage.  
Minho was knocked out by now but Seungmin explained how the group froze, Changbin had tried to free him but since he didn’t have any combat training that had of course failed. When the other two were taken Chan had immediately jumped to action but Woojin and Seungmin had tried to stop him so he wouldn’t have gotten hurt but their opponents caught on and aimed to shoot them and successfully got Seungie.  
They weren't that through so they never found Minho and decided to leave the younger since he’d probably bleed out before they got back.

They explained how in the beginning of the fight Changbin had risked a leg or two in order to get to his phone, they didn’t understand it but he’d said that he needed to call you.

That thought made you uncomfortable, how would he ever have known to call you? You had been as careful as you could around the boy so how on the earth could he have known?

When the two boys for the first time got quiet the room was rendered soundless. The silence was piercing and the expressions of your members were even more terrifying, the group beared solemness and a tension built around the room. Neither one of you knew how they would respond and you all feared the worst.

After some hard thinking Yoongi straightened himself and cleared his throat to talk.

“If Y/N trusts him.. We need to give him a chance. Stray kids has never threatened Bangtan and if we do this we could earn a new ally and strengthen our relationship with Got7.”

Seokjin glared at Yoongs who looked determined and ready to argue for you but he didn’t need to because Namjoon quickly took his boyfriends hand and nodded to the group asking how they were going to do it. No one protested and leaned eagerly forwards to capture your plan.

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End file.
